Now the real reason you are all here, How to survive the Zombiepocalypse: Lesson One: First off if you haven't started stocking up already, that is what you should immediatley start doing! It will be too late when the Zombies start coming. Granted when they do come, for the first few months or so ammo may be a little easier to come by than later on. I suggest firepower of any sort, swords (display swords will work fine provided you sharpen them a little), projectiles of any sort, and large bludgeoning items such as baseball bats ( my personal favorite is a good ole Louisville Slugger), crowbars, 2x4's and so on and so forth. You will also need to stock up on water (lots of bottled water because the virus may find it's way into the water sources) and non-perishable food items. If you have access to any sort of military surplus I might suggest T-rations, C-rations, and/or MRE's (meals ready to eat), as they last longer, they are higher in calories (which means you can go longer between meals) and they come with everything you could possibly need. They even come with personal meal heaters (which if used properly can be used as a weapon, but I will not say how to do that on the internet as I am sure there may be children that will read this and I am certain thier parents would not like me to state how to use a meal heater to make a weapon). Stocking up on some clothing with many pockets would also be a good idea. No it is not fashionable but it is practical and lets face it during a Zombiepocalypse we are going to a be all for practicality. Keep in mind that if you think you don't need it keep it anyway. You never know what can be used during a Zombie invasion. Lesson Two: Once the virus starts to spread the very first thing you need to do is get out of any city you may be in and get out into the country. The cities will be the first to go because of the sheer population size. As with any disease, the more people in any given area, the more people will contract the disease. You are going to want to distance yourself from high population areas. I would say that the mountains (for you North Georgians out there the first place I am going is Blood Mountain), whether it be the Appalachians or Rockies in the US or whatever mountain range as long as there aren't many people around. The deserts of the western states or any desolate areas are the best as they won't have high populations. This will be your first step in not contracting the virus. Lesson Three: After you have distanced yourself and your small group from the general population you need to set up a perimeter. You need to choose an area that you can see anything coming. You should set up a warning system of some sort. Use your imagination. You can use anything to your advantage. You should board up any windows and make sure the building you are in has only two entrances. The fewer entrances the easier to keep anything out. The better you know your surroundings the easier it will be for you to survive. Make sure that everyone in your party knows the surroundings as well as more than one person will need to keep watch. Your warning system should not be completely relied on as they have the possibility of failing. Always keep a warning system going as well as human eyes keeping watch. You do not want to take the chance of Zombies invading and killing everyone in thier sleep. Lesson Four: If by chance you do find yourself fighting for your life with a Zombie, always remember: HEAD SHOTS! Shooting a Zombie in the heart or chopping off one of his appendages (unless said appendage is the head) is not going to kill him. The only sure fire way to kill a Zombie is to cause significant damage to the cerebral cortex (i.e. the brain or head). This is usually accomplished by shooting him in the head with a high-powered rifle, bashing his head in with a Louisville Slugger or crowbar, or if you happen to have a katana just lying around, chopping his head off. A chainsaw can also be used but that tends to be very messy and you can risk contaminating yourself. If you find yourself being chased by a horde of Zombies, explosives of just about any kind come in real handy. Just make sure you distance yourself from said explosion. You don't want to get blown up as well, unless of course you have been bitten. Lesson 5: Never, never, let a new person into your group with out first inspecting their person for any potential bites. Even if they seem fine, they could be hiding a bite and potentially change and put everyone in your party at risk. You do not want a new person coming into your group, changing, and then potentially killing an person in your party. If the new person does not want you to check them for bites, then you can rest assured that they are hiding a bite. Do not let them in! If you follow these simple rules you can survive a Zombiepocalypse. If I have left anything out feel free to let me know by leaving a comment! ***Note: This is in no way meant to be serious. In my weird sense of humor this is my way of making fun of the Doomsday prophecies for 2012 while having some fun with zombies.***
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